| its unsinkable... |
[Nov. 6th, 2006|04:39 am] |
| [ | Where you at? |
| | cinci | ] |
| [ | attitude |
| |  impressed | ] |
| [ | noise |
| | gc | ] |
So i went and seen the Titanic exhibit at the Cincinnati Museum Center. It rocked. They give you a boarding pass saying who you were and all of your information.
I was Mrs. William R. Bucknell(Emma E. Ward). I travelled first class and was going to see my son graduate from medical school. My cabin was D-15. I was sixty when the tragedy happened.
There were so many pieces that survived yet giant pieces of metal didnt. The best part was at the end of the exhibit you could see whether you survived or not. I luckily did...
Mom- random second class, survived
Bobby- guy who designed it, (reset the clock in the movie), did not survive
Lee- the richest guy on the ship, (he was the one who was with rose in the movie), did not survive
You should totally go see it. the 16 dollars is worth it. and they even had a piece of ice or something symbolizing the iceberg and it had hand prints on it showing how people held on to it. You can touch it, its real ice. it was so cool. i know i sound lame but i dont care! but i kept getting a wierd feeling when we were looking at some of the photographs of the people who didnt make it. I got so wierded out i wanted to leave, but thankfully i didnt. and some douche chick scratched out bobby's comment that we are allowed to leave. how rude.
go see it! |
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| who? |
[Nov. 1st, 2006|08:37 pm] |
You posted again, no not here. I question who was it about? You have her, you are with her. Unless its not her. Then who. Could it be who you had? I know how you feel about her, but at least you had the chance to hold them, touch them, tell them how you feel without fear of significant others finding out. At least you had the chance. I wasnt able to be with the person that makes my heart skip a beat. I can only see them lead me on then change in an instant. I know how you feel...
I had my reason for not calling. I wanted, no needed to see if you would call me since you had to hide me before. You let me down. I guess it is my fault for having higher hopes than I should. You have only one obligation to me, and that is to be my friend. And still that is by your choice. So it is voluntary. No obligation neccessary. Im sorry if it seemed like I blamed you. My hurt got the best of me, and Im sorry for that. I did cave though, I did call you, once. Nothing. I figured you were just hiding me again. I understand, but I dont know what its like. I could never hide some one like you. But Im not you, so I must be easier to hide. I understand... |
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| Green Corn |
[Sep. 28th, 2006|12:52 am] |
| [ | Where you at? |
| | - | ] |
| [ | attitude |
| | nothing | ] |
| [ | noise |
| | - | ] |
Its that time of year again, it has become a contradiction in my life though. I love winter, i always have. Until last year that is... Adam left for Iraq about august of last year, and this august is when i realized. I realized that this winter, and every one after that, will be the most painfull time for me. Matt says i shouldnt feel sorrow or that i should be mourning any more, but he doesnt realize that I was in love with adam... Everything about him i loved, and it lives only in my memories... I fear that i am forgeting what he looks like, what he sounds like, his laugh, his smile, his touch... I dont want to forget but there is so much pain that its hard not to want to forget... I dont know if i will make it through this holiday season in one piece... Honestly i dont want to. My life has become nothing. I go through everyday with pain, just pain, putting on a mask that is dull and worn out. The life was drained out of me, and even out of the pretend person so many people see today... I need help. I just want my life to end, I want the suffering to cease, i want the pain to go away. I need help. I know i do, and i dont think i can keep this up, if anymore.
I pray to be with you again, soon... You helped me with more than you know. Thank you. |
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| desperate for a savior |
[Aug. 25th, 2006|06:32 am] |
so lately i have been totally bummed out. Im looking towards god for the strength and wisdom i need to get through this hard time in my life. I think he is the only one that has any power left. Im all out of fight and its like matt is refusing to comprehend what im going through. He listens, and tries his hardest. But i keep thinking that deep down inside of him, either he doesnt care or just doesnt want to be aware of it. Yes matt is there for me all the time. but i need not more, but other "things", and not sexual "things". I can tell what he really feels. Its not that hard to read him. I just wish he would be in my mindset for a week, and see how he holds together at the seems... I think this is actually killing me. I know im not myself and I dont even look at my friends and family the same way. Im not happy, but I dont know whats causing this or how to fix it..
Please god help me become what i was, guide me back to the path that you and i walked together and i was happy. Give me the knowledge that i need to overcome this stressfull obstical. I know i ask a lot but i still ask for your forgiveness. I know I sin, and there is no excuse except that i am flawed, i am human. I leave my life in your hands to do with what you will... thank you lord. Amen.
Im sorry im rambling if anyone even reads this... I just dont know what to do anymore... |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 4th, 2006|06:08 pm] |
So god has really been looking out for me lately. I recieved both of my checks, finally.. Still no job, but something else good happened today but i dont remember what...hmmm.... Oh yeah, the chick from belcan said she would look into whats with my dell thing. and so if she keeps her word, i can finally get closier. rock out. also talked to sara holcombe yesterday and i miss her a lot
k bye,
p.s. you know how i have felt all of these years, and whether you like it or not, ill always be waiting for you. I promised you I would.... |
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| lost my job... |
[Jul. 28th, 2006|04:39 am] |
dell fired me because im on work restrictions... my lawyer called them today.... i can not be silenced so easily!!!!!
my movie becomes available as of Aug 1st. my buy
V FOR VENDETA
ali never came over, i only did that because a certain some one was reading this and i was rubbing it in thier face. haha! what dorks.
Ageisha is here. i dont really know what kind of dog she is. chelsea said she is american pit, but she looks like she has a bunch of black lab in her. oh well. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 23rd, 2006|09:30 am] |
Inventory is a twelve hour shift, not including how much you stay after because your not done in your area. my shift was about 14 hours long. I thought that day would never end....
EARLIER***
I started physical therapy for my shoulder. The doc said he didnt even have to do any orthopedic tests to see how bad it was because he could feel the problems. We took x-rays, then he put me through ELECTRO-SHOCK therapy. It was supposed to make my muscles contract and loosen. Well, that didnt work. I was pretty funny. Ofcourse everything was funny with only five hours of sleep.
After being shocked for about ten minutes we could finally leave. I was about to pick up my massive seventy three hour check until CFA told me that DELL didnt forward my check. so I only got 51 hours... bummer... I pick the rest up tomorrow.
BACK TO WHERE I STARTED***
My shift for inventory started at four ish. and well, I didnt get out of there till about six ish... AAHHHH!!!!! I worked alone for the most part of inventory, it was lonely but it proved to the I can consolidate, build, wrap, and create tags and labels for a skid. My boss was ultra impressed with it and so was I. Plus i made some fun labels too... shhh...
Larry is this kinda new guy and well, there was some talking with him and he reminds me so much of adam. That is ofcourse the good and the annoying. ha ha. (am i really laughing or just trying to make it ok?)
Either way, the day ended with matt picking me up and when we got hime all i wanted to do was to stand in the rain and feel it against my face. It was a hard rain too so I felt like god was looking at me and letting me know that it was done, so now I could relax and let go. I was so serine, and when I think about it I feel the same as I did. Care to tell me how I let go? cause while out there i thought about every one of you, but can you guess how?
ok thanks and later, p.s. im out of minutes. |
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| pain |
[Jul. 3rd, 2006|03:25 am] |
| [ | Where you at? |
| | new home | ] |
| [ | attitude |
| |  sore | ] |
ill make this short and sweet. i realized that im not done living life yet. but i want to be with adam again... the accident of thursday night changed me... there is some one. i want to be with but i cant be with him. i wish i never missed my chance, because now he is with an amazing power that will take care of him... i miss him.
i spent the weekend with brandi, it was fun. ok my shoulder is still injured so im leaving now.
Goodbye (you know who you are)
-natalie- |
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| oh... |
[Jun. 28th, 2006|02:27 am] |
| [ | Where you at? |
| | colraine, Ohio | ] |
| [ | attitude |
| |  crushed | ] |
| [ | noise |
| | good charlotte | ] |
out of the frying pan and into the skillet. I finally had it out with mommy dearest and i was forced to move. i know i havent told a lot of you but here it is. I now live in colraine ohio. im sorry solely to myself that i havent been on here much but life has just been hard. I recently became semi involved in a coworker. he was an amazing person that reminded me so much of adam... then we started dating, it was fantastic! but as soon as he had an inch of power over me, thats when he turned out to be just like jj. he is mentally abusive and its only a matter of time till it becomes physical.
good news myself! i finally heard from the three people i adore most in life. and they all happen to be in some way the most important. BRANDI, ALEX AND JACOB. I am in love with all of them. I miss them so much and i am scared that I will never see them again. I just want to feel thier touch or even see thier smile one more time(i still see brandi!!). i know who im talking about. but i dare not say who...
work sucks, and so does my life but at least i have master bedroom....
help me destroy the dark soul within |
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| Another for Adam Shepherd |
[May. 17th, 2006|04:37 am] |
| [ | attitude |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | noise |
| | G.C. | ] |
Sadly, you won't see any of this on the news.... </b>
A Soldier petting a kitty.
Soldier teaching an Afghan boy how to draw a smiley face.
Soldier teaching an afghan boy a high-five.
Soldier with a letter.
Little Iraqi Kids that would come to the tower and beg for sodas.
Definitely won't see that on the news...
Soldier helping a child.
Soldiers giving Iraqi children paper, pencils, glue, and crayons.
Iraqi girls laughing. Notice none of them are wearing hundreds of rags to cover their faces and bodies up anymore?
Iraqi girl with a beanie baby.
Soldier greeting Iraqi children.
Soldier playing soccer with an Iraqi boy.
Reposting is easy.
1. Click "reply to poster"
2. High light then copy everything
3. Paste the code into a new bulletin.
That's it.
Three simple steps to show your support for our troops.
I hope you enjoyed seeing how Iraq is really doing. |
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